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thrift August 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sara Savel @ 12:25 pm
Basket: fifty cents Bag of gingham check fabric in various colors: dollar Thrift store crafting ideas: make a bird mobile and use the larger pieces with some flannel i have around to make a winter blanket for Gabriel’s room. 

Basket: fifty cents

Bag of gingham check fabric in various colors: dollar

Thrift store crafting ideas: make a bird mobile and use the larger pieces with some flannel i have around to make a winter blanket for Gabriel’s room.

ann arbor pto thrift shop

this is one of my favorite thrift stores in the area. it is where i buy a lot of fabric…they have a whole crafting section full of fabric, crafting supplies, and sewing supplies.  they also have a really nice book section, too.

 

waiting…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sara Savel @ 12:24 pm

waiting…

i used to be a very impatient person who would totally freak out if someone didn’t call or show up when they said they would.  oddly enough—if you were under the age of 10, i had all the patience in the world; it was just those in the age of reason that i held to unreasonable standards of perfection.

once i had a baby, it was as if the patience gene was switched on.  except for my husband with whom i can be quite, and sometimes, unfairly demanding.  but for everyone else, everywhere else something changed in me.  i stopped caring if you called me back, or called at all.

not that i stopped caring about others.  i think of former friends i haven’t seen in ten years on a daily basis.  it is just that that kernel of obsessive worry over perceived rejections (if you don’t call at ten like you say, it must mean i’m not important to you), that kernel, has died.  it was replaced by the giant mommy seed. the one full of patience and understanding.

my friend was supposed to stop by last night and drop something off but never showed.  a couple of years ago, i would have been hurt and angry over the situation. last night, i told my husband that i figured that with all she had on her plate right now, i was cutting her some slack.  sometimes things fall by the wayside when you’re in the middle of a stressful situation.

so, i will wait.  it is good practice to become a more patient person

 

let’s see how long he will nap now that i am writing

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sara Savel @ 12:22 pm

let’s see how long he will nap now that i am writing

today: library day!  got a book on pregnancy over 35 since we start ttc next month.

and that was one sentence cause he just woke up.  damn.

 

before bed

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sara Savel @ 12:21 pm

before bed

mommy was on the verge of a meltdown by the time daddy got home to relieve her. went for drive and listened to some ani and some brandi carlisle.  came home refreshed and did a little genealogy while john cleaned up the house a bit. then we watched battlestar galactica.  neither of us saw it the first time it aired so it is all new to us…we are on the final season and i seriously am going to miss it when it is over.

aside from my toddler induced stress out, i think the new meds are working great.  my mood is way more even and i am feeling more focused and like myself.  doing some creative things again…trying out waldorf style doll making.  cooking more too.  made a summer squash and turkey skillet with basil and garlic for dinner tonight.

tomorrow: library, park, and farmer’s market. at least one of those.

now: bed.

 

afternoon thoughts

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sara Savel @ 12:20 pm

It is three o’clock and Gabriel is finally napping.  The broken window in our bedroom has finally been replaced.  It is peaceful and quiet, and while the day is beautiful outside I am glad to be indoors with a few moments of afternoon nothingness to occupy me before the little guy wakes up.

I’ve been reading a wonderful book called You are Your Child’s First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy.  She writes from a Waldorf perspective so there is a lot of information about exposing children to art, music, and literature. What I’ve been finding the most helpful for me as the mother of a one year old, is what she says about parenting and the issues that many face.  Unlike some parenting books, which try to guilt you into following there particular method, Dancy talks about things like why parenting takes so much of our energy when on paper a lot of the day to day stuff doesn’t look like that much work.  What she said made a lot of sense but I never thought about it before:  our lives and our spiritual sides are so closely bound up with our children’s and that connection requires a great deal of energy from us, twice as much as we used before we had children.

What I really appreciated was Dancy’s grounded advice to basically keep grounded, to focus on self care and inner work and growth as a person and a parent. Some parenting experts will simply tell an overwhelmed mom to “take some time for yourself” and “go get a haircut.”  Haircuts are nice but 45 minutes in the salon is not going to restore you.  Dancy gets more to the heart of the matter recommending something more akin to restoration than to a little shoe shopping might be.  New shoes are really only a band-aid. Prayer and meditation can change your life.

There is a lot about Waldorf that I really like: the arts, the nature, the festivals, the emphasis on literature and storytelling.  But at the same time I am drawn to Montessori for the opposite reasons:  I love how Montessori emphasizes practical life skills, the concrete before the abstract, the tangible and the real.  One thing I am thinking about is how to use the best of both for teaching Gabriel as he gets older.  Even if he goes to pre-school I want there to be Montessori and Waldorf elements in the home.  I want him to know that poetry is as valuable to humanity as engineering is would be my overarching educational goal.

He is fussing now and I need to figure out what the rest of the day will hold.  Kind of need to get working on establishing a rhythm of the day.

2 Notes

lazy saturday baby

 

mama thoughts and musings in the middle of the night.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sara Savel @ 12:18 pm

mama thoughts and musings in the middle of the night.

On Sunday, we went to John’s parents to spend the night so he could help his brother and sister in law move into their new apartment today.  They just moved back from Virginia after two long years away from home.

We had dinner last night and hung out watching tv before everyone went to sleep.  It was very nice to all be together and I’m glad for the opportunity to get to know my sister in law and brother in law as they moved South literally the day after I met them two years ago.  We’ve seen each other on Skype (on which I always feel awkward) or for holiday visits, but that is not the same as living 45 min away.

Today I had a doctor’s appointment and am grateful to my MIL for taking the baby today so I could focus on the visit with my doc and get some down time.

Sleep has been a struggle for me as of late.  Insomnia, panic attacks, bad dreams…sleep has not been very restful at all.  Then my energy is sapped during the day and I’ve been really unfocused, too.  Not fun when you have to take care of a baby and you feel like just picking him up is going to consume enormous amounts of energy.   When I am not feeling restless and unable to concentrate on a task, I feel like a weight is bearing down upon me and I am walking through a murky forest on a humid day.

Thankfully, the doctor’s visit was helpful.  We decided to start a new anti depressant and see how that goes.  The one I am currently on is incompatible with pregnancy and since we are going to start TTC next month, we decided to just change it now.  We also made some changes in my other medication which helps me sleep.  I am feeling optimistic, or at least trying to be that this will be a good combination for me.

I am reading a great book about which I was going to blog about tonight, but will save for Tues or Weds.

 

About Me August 26, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Sara Savel @ 7:05 pm
Tags: , , ,

john and i got married at the end of june.  this is one of my favorite photos from the wedding—-us and our sticky, overtired little toddler keeping us grounded in spite of our fancy duds.

My name is Sara Savel. I’m a wife, a mother, a lifelong learner, a woman with major depression disorder, and an introvert who wants to make connections with others. I love doing creative things like writing poetry, making collages, and hand sewing. I am afraid of my sewing machine. I love thrift stores and am blessed to live in a community with so many of them. Reading is a particular joy of mine and book buying a compulsive addiction.

My family consists of myself, my husband, John, and our one year old son, Gabriel. John works for a credit union, and I stay at home with Gabriel. What this means is that we are a family of three living on 25K gross in an affluent college town. One thing I would like to blog about is how to do this—what does voluntary simplicity look like in a home with a child? Living on less than the average area homeowner is a choice to live simply that we’ve made for our son’s sake. He may not have designer clothes or a fancy nursery, but he has a parent with him all the time.

I also just want a space to write down my thoughts on the day to day living of my life, the raising of our child, the journey we are on as a family, as husband and wife. My goal is to write something three times a week. At least one post creativity related.

One thing I can promise is to be real. I am not going to show pictures of my perfect looking house, perfect looking children, and a perfect looking mom. I won’t pretend life is ethereally beautiful or to be grateful when I am not. I won’t pretend everything is running smoothly around here if it is not. This is my life and it is kind of uneven at times.